I figure maybe if I turn my thoughts into words I could perhaps sleep at night.
My friend’s band was playing with one of my all-time favorite bands, After the Burial. It was a real treat to get a free ticket from Connor. I went there with George, my best friend. He told me I needed to shave my mustache because it was creepy and that we were supposed to meet up with a girl he was seeing and her friend. I kinda did my own thing the whole time, walking around, watching the bands play, smoking cigarettes outside. I saw George talking to two girls outside, they must’ve been the previously mentioned. My first thought was a rather smart- no my smartest idea. Talk to them, feel indifferent. Feel apathetic. I sat down with them, got a feel of what they were like. Turns out they were really fun to talk to. Kourtney seemed to really enjoy talking to me. It was never awkward, I felt really comfortable, which is a rarity to be honest. We joked around for a while. George made fun of my mustache and Julia said she liked it. Oh right, Julia. Gorgeous and fun to talk to. We hungout near Ryan’s car for a bit, smoking more and just joking around. Kourt, Julia and George had got up to go see one of the bands. I hung back and talked to Ryan about Julia, he approved. I got a phone call from George as he was on the other side of the venue. “She wants you” he said. I sort of blurted out “well that’s great because she’s the cutest thing ever”. And that was that. We went back to her house that night and kissed and kissed.
Julia left for California for three weeks. I promised I’d keep in touch.
My anxiety and depression have gotten the best of me. We talk everyday but not the way that we did previously. Did I fall in love? Is that why this is tearing me apart and keeping me up at night?
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